Hello Beautiful Soul,
Since I was fourteen, being a mother was one of my biggest dreams. It will probably be one of my biggest challenges too. I’ve learned that we cannot predict any of this. Before you even arrive in this world, you will have taught my heart, body, and spirit more than you can imagine. I strive for you every day, and someday we will be a family. For now, let’s start at the very beginning.
When I was first told that becoming pregnant will be harder for me, adoption was not the first thing on my mind. I had to step back and make some life adjustments. My central focus was to develop a healthy mind and body for the future choices I would make for a family. So that’s exactly what I did. I am now in the best shape of my life, strong mentally and physically, and close to the day of my second marathon.
What I realized on those long training runs is this:
I am already doing what most do not. I’m thinking, caring and considering who you’ll one day be. I’m taking care of my body and my mind. I’m figuring out that sometimes we are meant for different futures than what we originally thought we were. My focuses have shifted. Maybe I am meant to travel to all corners of the world to bring you home. Maybe I’m meant to build a different kind of family. I have now met the love of my life, and he has embraced my dreams. We realize that family means more than blood, and that pure love brings the right people together. We will have a beautiful and blended family. For the time being, I want you to be know three things.
1. You are loved.
Someday, when we meet, you will know this. We will cross every obstacle, triumph and milestone with grace and patience. We will work together to navigate the trials and tribulations of adoption with faith and understanding. You will always have someone to talk to.
2. You are safe.
Prior to coming home, your life may not have been consistent. A different person may put you in bed each night, your best friend may have abruptly left, you may be too warm or too cold, or your favorite juice may no longer be available. I cannot promise a perfect life when you live with us, but I can promise you an environment where you will always know you are safe.
3. You are ours.
It has never mattered to us that we don’t look alike. You are born in our love just like the rest of your future siblings and you are the missing piece within the puzzle of our family. You have been a part of our plan since the very beginning, and I cannot wait to be your mommy.
I do not know when we will be able to bring you home. I don’t know where we will live. I don’t know what life will be like at that exact moment. What I do know is this: everything we are doing now, it is all with the intention of bringing you home someday. We will be together, and we will be family. We’ll be with you soon, beautiful soul. And you are loved endlessly.
Your Future Mom
Dedicated to the Shull family. Thank you for inspiring me and sharing your story.
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More About the Author
Danielle’s a new blogger and teacher working in the disability services in Philadelphia. She’s run five half marathons and loves baking all things pumpkin. Her favorite color is electric yellow and her socks always have to match. Her boyfriend Tyler is her favorite thing in the world and she drives a beat up old Nissan by the Name O’ Lexie. She calls her mama every single day. Her goal is to have Jeff Probst announce her as the winner of Survivor.