Sometimes I wish my heart would just give itself a break. You know, be put in time-out, take a little siesta, perhaps get sent to Exile Island by Jeff Probst.
I’m the type of person that feels everything. My strong ISFJ personality often shoots some exasperating thoughts from my heart to my mind, and if you haven’t been able to tell yet, I am exhausted. Now that I think of it, Demi Lovato’s song Give Your Heart A Break no longer seems so substandard.
I am the type of person that cries with you when your dog died. The type of person that cries in every movie – even if they’re happy. (Up, anyone?) That person that still feels bad for that sub-par cleaning of the litter box when I was housesitting nearly five months ago.
There’s nothing that I aspire more in this world than to be liked by others. Maybe it’s not the sole issue here, but it definitely impacts my emotional ties to people and situations. Like many in this world, I am the epitome of the term “people pleaser”. I inherently remember being a child and trying to please my friend’s parents whenever I went to their house for play date. How’s that for the unconscious mind Freud?
I’ve been told by guys I’ve dated that one of my best qualities is being so in tune with my emotions. That it’s actually a strength rather than a flaw. That it’s so endearing when I cry during a church service, a hike in 75 degree weather, or virtually anytime I get to hold a newborn baby. I think, really? I can barely get my life together and you think that’s captivating? Conversely, I have been criticized heavily by an ex about why I choose to write my most intimate emotions on the internet for everyone to read. If I am a people pleaser, why do I write about things that people may judge me for? The answer is this; I feel intensely. I know I am not the only human on Earth with this mentality. We feelers tend to look anywhere and everywhere for some perspective. We want to feel as if we’re not alone in this. I write in my personal journals anyway, so why not share what is on my heart with the rest of the world? (And potentially get the opportunity to validate some other feelers in the process of my self-realizations.) Perhaps I am specifically wired as an intense feeler to be able to relate to others and share my stories, to give hope to those that may walk through similar circumstances. It’s possible that I am placed in these exact situations to empower others, that I am here at this point in time for this exact purpose. Whatever the reason may be, I am thrilled that we have the freedom to make our own decisions, mine just happens to be through public written expression.
In reality, I know Jeff Probst has zero intention of sweeping up my heart and sending it over to a deserted island for a week. (Dang it.) I have gotten used to the fact that my heart just likes to feel, and that’s ok. It’s also ok if you feel that you are the type of person who is the “rock” to our sensitive emotions. I am actually incredibly thankful for you people, as I will gladly give you some of my emotion on any given day. No one lives this life on their own – we all need a community and others to sympathize with, I am just learning that I am a little more gifted in this realm of empathy than others. Thank goodness that we all bring different abilities and talents to the table, or our world would be insanely bleak. So here’s to all of you all you feelers out there – keep feeling, our planet desperately needs you.
More About the Author
Lauren is a twenty something woman who absolutely loathes writing in third person. She lives in the beautiful city of San Francisco and works as a youth director/social media producer at a church called Canvas. Highly sensitive (and proud), Lauren typically writes about relationships, feelings, and faith. For a high-five or smile, you can find her running around the streets of San Francisco most likely shivering with a iced soy vanilla coffee in hand.