Trying to sleep with a male is not for the faint of heart…
1. The initial misconception you have that sleeping together will be this cute and cuddly little heaven.
2. There’s the snoring, because I swear every single man snores.
3. The snores that violently wake them up on their own.
4. The few short moments you have after they’ve paused the snores. You have to rapidly try to fall asleep.
5. The constant position changing.
6. The absurd spasms and jerks that often result in your getting injured.
7. When they try to be cuddly and actually just suffocate you.
8. The immense amount of heat that is constantly projecting off of them.
9. The moments when you are still awake and you contemplate attacking them for it.
11. When they do something like this.
13. When they actually have consistent enough jerks that you start to wonder if they are having a seizure.
14. THE DROOLING.
15. SO MUCH DROOLING.
16. The weird movements they make when sleeping that resemble only the most awkward of actions.
17. When one of the jerks, snores, or random movements wakes them up, they think it’s the morning, and start talking to you.
18. Worst of all, morning comes along, and you look like this…
19. And then this happens.
20. And. They. Won’t. Stop.
21. When people ask you how you slept.
22. Then there are the moments you remember that you actually like that sleeping dofus, and this is the price you have to pay.
Sweet dreams, ladies.
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