Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to true and eternal happiness. A healthy amount of tough love and self-reflection has always steered me in the right direction, so here are 16 things to look out for.

1. Jealously. Be happy for people and you’ll be happier for yourself.

2. A need for superficial things. Having a name brand item isn’t ever going to satisfy your deep needs for confidence and fulfillment. It’s all incredibly meaningless in the end.

3. Grudges. I know you may feel like the tough one for holding on to some anger that was created years ago, but it actually makes you weaker. Forgive. Forgiveness sets you free.

4. Regret. When I said forgiveness sets you free, that applies to self-forgiveness as well.

5. Dependence. You can’t depend on others for happiness. Take it from me, it’s not going to work. You have to rely on yourself for love and confidence.

6. The need to fix people. You may think you can fix someone, but you can’t. People have to fix themselves and if you allow negative people in your life they will just bring you down too.

7. Fear. Fear is natural and everyone has it, but if you allow fear to control you, you will never move in the direction of your dreams and happiness.

8. Selfishness. It is one thing to be young and do what’s in your best interest, and another to be inconsiderate of others. If you care about no one, no one will care about you.

9. Unreasonably high expectations. I am not saying that you shouldn’t set the bar high, go ahead and put it way up there. But keep in mind that life isn’t perfect and if you are constantly expecting it to be, you are going to feel let down. Expect the unexpected.

10. A self-righteous attitude. You are not above anything or anyone and the moment that you start feeling that way is when you actually become less intelligence because you lose the ability to learn from others. You will miss great opportunities and suffer personally.

11. Wanting to relive the past. You will kill your happiness if you are constantly looking at old photos and trying to think up ways to go back to that. You can’t. Cherish memories, move on.

12. Dishonesty. Tell the truth, to others and to yourself. Lies will destroy your happiness.

13. Reliance on alcohol or other mind-altering substances. Ground breaking I know, but if you feel like you need a drink to feel happy and free, that’s not okay. Alcohol is the farthest thing from an escape, it merely pushes your problems back a night and probably adds different ones. If you allow it to, it will control your happiness, and then wash it right down the drain like the lost disposable income that you spent on it.

14. Pessimism. Don’t try to anticipate negative outcomes to spare yourself from disappointment. Be positive and hopeful, pessimism is cowardly.

15. Prejudice. If you are prejudice in any way, rest assured it will negatively affect you in the long run. Your hatred is only poison to your own soul. Love and be loved my friend.

16. Self-doubt. If you don’t believe in yourself and what you want, who is going to? The limitations on your happiness often stem just as deep as those that you have created for yourself. Believe in yourself, and you will be happy.

More About the Author

Lexi Herrick
Lexi Herrick

Lexi is the founder of She is also an SEO Nerd living in New York City with her cat and collection of cheesy coffee mugs. Lexi contributes to a number of online publications and is always trying to get involved in the conversation. She’s an advocate for equality, knowledge, healthy relationships, compassion, self-confidence, integrity and above all, love. She’s addicted to caffeinated beverages and people who make her smile.


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